Mark Richards


Friday, February 07, 2003

Please don't try this at home

Please use this conversation as an example of how not to pick up women: an excerpt from a conversation last night at Cherry.

Foreigner (To the cute girl): You look kinda Elvish.
Girl (Baffled): Huh?
Normal Guy (Baffled): ...
Girl (Slightly offended): What does that mean?
Foreigner (Backpedaling): Have you ever seen Lord of the Rings 2?
Girl (Slightly angry): No.
Foreigner (Still backpedaling): How about Lord of the Rings 1?
Girl (Slightly confused): No.
Normal Guy (Trying to cause trouble): Are you telling her she looks like one of Santa's helpers?
Foreigner (Getting flustered): No.
Normal Guy (Still trying to cause trouble): Does she look like she should be making toys in Santa's workshop or placing wrapped gifts under Christmas tree?
Foreigner (Very flustered): No! She looks like that girl from the Lord of the Rings! What's her name?
Normal Guy (Finally trying to help out): Ya mean Liv Tyler?
Foreigner (Relieved): Yeah! That's who I meant! She's gorgeous and you remind me of her.
Girl (Confused, but relieved): Oh...ok. I guess that's a compliment. Thanks.
Girl (Leaves rather frightened wondering what just happened):

The moral of the story here is: computer geeks + alcohol + cute girls don't mix.

Please don't try this at home!


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